Happy Endings
by Warden's Vigil
Summary: Aedan Cousland, Warden Commander, leads a team of volunteers into the Dragonbone Wastes to deal with a darkspawn threat. The group is ambushed by a dragon cult with tragic consequences.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: While enjoying a fishing excursion in an attempt to bond once again as brothers, Aedan and Fergus Cousland are attacked by darkspawn. Aedan is able to sense that there are more of the creatures waiting in the Dragonbone Wastes, and so arranges a mission to venture there and eradicate the threat. Unable to wait for more Wardens to arrive, Aedan asks for volunteers from Highever to join himself and the Grey Warden mage, Mysaria. Once within the Wastes, the group is attacked by members of a dragon cult, and not without casualties._

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Aedan Cousland #==-<strong>

Aedan put the discomfort radiating from the wounds in his back out of his mind. It was irrelevant. One of his soldiers was down, injured, and he needed to know who. He needed to see if there was anything he could do. Not likely, given that Zari was a few steps ahead of him, but still. He had to be there.

He skidded to a stop as he saw Loras crouched over Tony. Immediately he scanned Loras's wife for blood, but saw none; she seemed whole, if in extreme pain.

"What is it?" he asked, loud enough for Zari to hear. "What's wrong with her?"

_Please let it be curable_, he thought as he watched Loras fuss over Tony. He'd seen it a week ago, the night Loras had flagged him down to be a witness to his impromptu—the Knight-Captain was head-over-heels for the scarred warrior woman, and she seemed to be just as taken with him. Aedan swallowed as he waited for Zari's response.

_Please let this have a happy ending._

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Ser Donovan Loras #==-<strong>

Loras looked up at Aedan with concern. He had Tony's head cradled in his leather covered palms in his lap. She still seemed to be in a lot of pain but he had no idea what the mage had done to her. It had to have been the mage too. Every time Loras went over things in his head it was the same. Tony had been fine until he had ordered her to take out the mage.

He should have left her at home training the recruits...

No, no, Tony belonged on a battlefield. She knew the dangers of fighting darkspawn. She was a seasoned fighter. Leaving her at the castle would have been foolish. They needed people who knew what they were doing out here. People like Tony who knew to be careful with darkspawn blood. That knew where best to hit an ogre to get it down. That were not intimidated by the sight of darkspawn and all the tales running around about the creatures.

Bringing Tony along had been the correct move as a knight-captain. It did not mean that Loras as Tony's husband liked it.

"You will be alright love," he said, shifting his hold so he could run a hand over her slicked back hair. "The lady warden is here now and she will have you fixed in a minute."

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Antonina Garcion-Loras #==-<strong>

For a moment it didn't register that someone was touching her. The pain had rushed over her like a wave at high tide, but just as quickly it rolled back and Tony was able to struggle up for air.

She found herself cradled against Donovan, his hand running over her hair. He was murmuring comforting words; and normally Tony knew she would have felt safe and she would have believed him. But something was different this time - this wasn't like an ordinary wound that stitches and healing magic would fix. Tony knew this sad fact all the way to the marrow of her bones.

"Liar," she whispered up at him. "But I love you anyway." She forced a grin at him before the next wave of pain washed over her.

Inside the pain, every thought disappeared. But as it abated again, a different pain hit her. Tony wasn't worried about herself; she never was. Not even Donovan's love and kindness had been able to change that. But one thing it did change, and dramatically.

_She cared about him. And if she died . . . the second of his wives and the first to be faithful . . . if she died just like the first, he might never recover._

That hurt Tony more sharply than the spell tearing her body apart.

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Mysaria #==-<strong>

Mysa dropped to the woman's side as soon as she arrived, trying to think of anything she had learned that could save from this. Her lips were pressed together in a very hard line matched by her brows pulled together in concentration. She called up the last of the willpower within her to cast on final healing spell. It would at least give her more time to consider her options. She heard Aedan ask what was wrong with her, and Mysa shook her head not wanting to voice it. Voicing it would make it final, and she wasn't prepared for anything final in this situation yet.

"You will be alright love. The lady warden is here now and she will have you fixed in a minute." Her eyes darted up to look at Loras. This was the woman he loved. Mysa did not know him or the woman she was tending to but her heart twisted. To fail them... When Tony spoke to him, Mysa thought she would sob. Instead, she steeled herself looking up at Aedan.

"Did Alistair teach you any templar abilities? Any at all?" _Please, for the love of the Maker and his Bride Andraste let him have taught you, Soap._The plea was in her eyes, her fear more than evident. Her voice was just as desperate as her eyes.

She gulped some air and looked back to Loras and Tony. She rested her hand gently on top of one of Tony's. "You're infected with a spell called Walking Bomb. It... it isn't something I can heal." Her voice cracked as she said it, and she wished Arawn was here. If he had still be alive, came with them here, he would have had the ability to save her.

She looked back up to Aedan. "If he didn't teach you Aedan, we need to get everyone out of here, and soon." She did not want to say why, she couldn't say why. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Ser Ivar #==-<strong>

Ivar was, for a moment, lulled into a sense of relief when he first came up to the small group. He could see the scarred woman on the ground, and while everything about Loras' posture confirms she must be his new wife, he didn't see any blood, any gaping wounds. For a brief moment he entertained the thought that maybe things weren't so bad.

"You're infected with a spell called Walking Bomb. It... it isn't something I can heal." Ivar had little experience with spells and the like, but anything called Walking Bomb couldn't end well. His eyes fell to the mage, as if searching of any other answer then the one she was giving. "If he didn't teach you Aedan, we need to get everyone out of here, and soon."

Ivar's mouth pressed into a grim line. While the name and that warning, he could pretty well figure out what came next. "How long we got?" He didn't dare voice his conclusions- saying it made it real. This couldn't be real. His gaze went to Aedan. He hadn't heard what the woman had asked if he knew, but whatever it was Ivar hoped he knew it.


	2. Chapter 2

**-==# Aedan Cousland #==-**

Aedan had never seen that look on Loras's face before. The Knight-Captain was always self-assured. He knew exactly what his role was, and he carried it out efficiently and effectively. But now, as he cradled his wife's head in his lap, he looked more like Donovan than Ser Loras, Knight-Captain of Highever.

"You will be alright love," the knight said, running a hand over Tony's hair. "The lady warden is here now and she will have you fixed in a minute."

_Please let that be true._It seemed as Tony had an inkling that it wasn't, from her words back to her husband. Aedan gritted his teeth and looked down at Zari.

"Did Alistair teach you any templar abilities? Any at all?" she asked him, her voice edging on panic.

"No. He didn't." _Flames, if Zari's asking that, it means Tony's got something that needs to be cleansed..._

The mage's next words confirmed it. "You're infected with a spell called Walking Bomb. It... it isn't something I can heal."

Maker be damned. No. Oh, no. Aedan and his companions had encountered that spell a few times, but Alistair's ability to cleanse the area had always removed it. Without a templar to do so, the spell couldn't be removed, and Tony was going to...

Aedan gulped down some air. He wanted to scream at Zari. Surely there was some spell, _something_she could do. "Zari, you can't be saying there isn't anything..."

"If he didn't teach you Aedan, we need to get everyone out of here, and soon." She looked up at him, and he saw the truth in her glistening eyes.

_Flames. Flames. FLAMES._

Mouth set into a grim line, he turned back to the rest of the group, projecting his voice so it was easily heard across the battlefield. "Everyone back! Retreat! Retreat!"

Trusting his people would follow those orders, he looked back at Loras. "Donovan." His eyes burned, and he clenched his teeth. "We have to go. There's no...no choice."

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Ser Donovan Loras #==-<strong>

Loras looked back and forth at the discussion around him. What was wrong? Why were they not doing something to help Tony? The mage knew the spell and obviously a way to fix it. What was the problem.

Aedan looked behind him then, raising his voice to be heard by everyone across the field. "Everyone back! Retreat! Retreat!"

He looked at Loras then and the knight could feel his stomach give out. They were not going to help Tony...were they? That was why the mage was asking about templar abilities. There was no templars among their group though. Not even an initiate.

"Donovan." Aedan said between clenched teeth. "We have to go. There's no...no choice."

Loras closed his eyes a moment, mentally pleading with the Maker. _Please not this...anything but this..._

He didn't say a word back to any of them. He simply shifted his hold so that he had Tony cradled in his lap more, holding her to his chest like a man would a child. He could not...would not, just let her go. He could not just leave her to die alone. Not after everything she had been through already. They should have had more time than this! Maker dammit, this was not fair!

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Antonina Garcion-Loras #==-<strong>

The words of the Grey Warden mage confirmed Tony's worst fear.

"You're infected with a spell called Walking Bomb. It... it isn't something I can heal." Her voice broke and she sounded near tears. Tony hadn't expected that sort of a reply from a mage. She'd never really known one before outside of battle - only rumors - and somehow it was fitting that her first and last would break those stereotypes.

Tony slipped her hand over the mage's where she touched her for a moment before tipping it up over her head and pressing it against Donovan.

"It's not your fault," she said bluntly. "Thank you for trying."

Tony flicked her eyes up to Donovan, trying to gauge his reaction as the Warden Commander shouted out an order. "Everyone back! Retreat! Retreat!" His voice then dropped as he looked down at the two of them. "Donovan." He looked pained and pale. "We have to go. There's no...no choice."

Donovan didn't reply, just wrapped his arms around her tighter as if he didn't realize the danger. But Tony knoew damn well that he did. Everyone who fought in the battle for Denerim knew this spell - the darkspawn mages used it. And it wasn't only a danger to the one infected, but to everyone around them. Walking Bomb was a perfectly apt name when it turned it's victim into a weapon.

Tony managed to pull herself out of his grasp, fighting her way to her knees, the palms of her hands on the ground and her breath coming in hard, shuttering gasps. It was pain that caused it; but Tony wasn't sure if it was the spell of her heart that hurt more. She lifted her head up, meeting Donovan's eyes.

"Please . . . go," she whispered. "I . . . can't bear to think that I could be the cause of you being hurt or dying. I want to . . . _die_knowing you are safe and that you will live even if I can't." Tony shivered, fighting another wave of pain. She swallowed hard. "That way . . . ," she began again, her voice louder and more clear than she expected. "That way a part of me will always be alive."

She slid her hand forward along the ground, wrapping her fingers around his wrist. Gathering her will and her remaining strength, she leaned forward and put her lips against the shell of his ear.

"I'll always love you Donovan," she whispered. "Even when I'm gone." She paused for a moment and swallowed again.

"Now go."

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Mysaria #==-<strong>

When Aedan said Alistair hadn't taught him anything, her heart dropped into her stomach. She shook her head in disbelief. There was nothing they could do, nothing at all. Aedan's desperate words made her feel even more useless. "Zari, you can't be saying there isn't anything..."

She quickly turned her face away from him, so he couldn't see the look on her face. Unfortunately, that made Tony and Loras see exactly what she was feeling. Tony told her it wasn't her fault and her eyes burned even more, tears threatening to overspill. Aedan called for everyone to move out, but Mysa was focused on Loras as he tightened his grip on the Tony. He did not want to leave her, and she could not blame him. She would have been hard-pressed to be torn away in the same situation. She knew that there wasn't much time left, especially if they wanted to avoid seeing the terrible fate that awaited Tony.

"I'm so sorry," her voice felt brittle. She backed away, letting Tony say her farewells to Loras as privately as possible.

She backed away towards Aedan, her whole body trembling, "We have to go... we have to... before. We can't let them see this end." She looked over at Ivar and shook her head. She wanted to stay and she wanted to run. She seemed frozen beside Aedan for now.

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Ser Ivar #==-<strong>

Ivar wanted to do a lot of things. He wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all, wanted to find some cure, wanted to somehow stab something to stop this. This wasn't right, and it wasn't fair. After everything Donovan had been through, he didn't deserve to have his new wife tell him she needed him to live. And he didn't even know the woman- something that now seemed a horrible loss- but no one deserve to have to die like this, with some sort of comfort so close.

Why did it seem that the hardest thing to do was to accept that nothing could be done, to stand by and do nothing? It nearly killed him to not rush to the castle when Howe's treachery became apparent. It killed him now to have to take this next step, but there wasn't any choice.

Better one dead then two.

"Donovan." His voice was firm, both to make sure Donovan heard and to try to disguise the catch in his own voice, as he reached out to put his hand on his fellow knight's shoulder. He wished Loras didn't have the heavy amour on, so his touch could impart some comfort. "She's right. We need to go, now. I'm sorry." For a brief moment his eyes caught Toni's, and he mentally made a promise to her. He was going to get Donovan out of here, come hell or high water. He tugged a bit on Loras's shoulder, hoping he wouldn't have to drag him. "I'm so sorry, but we need to go, else that flaming mage gets exactly what he wanted."


	3. Chapter 3

**-==# Aedan Cousland #==-**

Loras didn't react to his words, other than to hold Tony more closely against his chest, cradling her like one would a child. She was no child, though, as her halting, pain-filled words illustrated. She was a warrior; in some fashion, she'd known, as they all did, that they might very well meet their deaths on the battlefield. It wasn't right, or fair, it was just what was.

That didn't make it any easier, knowing what Aedan knew. This was the woman that had brought light to Donovan's eyes, spark to his life, when before there was only duty. He'd stood beside them when they'd exchanged vows. And now he was going to see this woman—

No. As difficult as it was to imagine her dying alone, it was not something Donovan should witness. Not something any of them should witness, but especially not him. Let him remember her as she was on the night of their wedding: joyous, exuberant, illuminated.

Zari began backing away, and he knew she had the right idea. Time was running out.

"We have to go... we have to... before. We can't let them see this end." Her voice was low, a little shaky, matching the trembling in her limbs.

"Donovan." Ivar spoke in the firm, no-nonsense voice Aedan remembered from his childhood, when he'd caught him and Fergus doing something they shouldn't. The knight gripped Loras's shoulder firmly. "She's right. We need to go, now. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but we need to go, else that flaming mage gets exactly what he wanted."

The Knight-Captain showed no sign that he'd even heard them, or that he would move on his own. Aedan's heart picked up its pace as the seconds ticked by in his head. At any moment, Tony would become a weapon, and they all would die. He couldn't let that happen.

Shooting a silent, wordless prayer to an unnamed deity, Aedan stepped forward and grabbed Loras under the arms. "You have to let her go, Donovan. You have to. She wants you to live, and you won't unless we go _now_." He might as well have said nothing, for all the acknowledgment he received from the Knight-Captain. "Loras! Come on!"

His heart aching with every movement, he forcefully pried Donovan's hands away from Tony. He hated this. Hated himself for doing this. The man clearly did not want to leave his wife to her fate alone, and really, who the hell was Aedan Cousland to say that Loras couldn't make that decision? All he knew was that Highever needed Donovan. Fergus needed the man who'd fought to regain the town from Howe. He couldn't die here, not when he could be saved.

He caught Tony's eyes with his own, and he saw the hope there. Not for herself, but for her husband. That he'd live, even if she wouldn't. "Maker, Tony, I'm so sorry," he managed, his voice uneven, as he loosened the last of Donovan's grip on her.

He hooked his hands under Donovan's armpits and began pulling him away, ignoring the twinges in his back from the barely healed wounds there. "Ivar, need your help." The words were almost a growl as he struggled to remove Loras from the area in time.

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Ser Donovan Loras #==-<strong>

Loras did not hear a word of what anyone said around him. He had heard Tony and then his hearing just kind of switched off. Her telling him to go and live. He just shook his head, for once denying her something. "No," was the only word that got past his lips as he clamped his hands on her and tried to hold on tighter.

He could not take this. He could not survive this. He was not strong enough for this. He had survived his first wife's loss due to being in such a rough patch with her, even then it had hurt horribly. Losing Tony...he could not even fathom it.

"I'll always love you Donovan," she whispered. "Even when I'm gone."

"No. I love you and I promised you I would never leave and I meant it dammit. Into the Fade itself if need be," he stated in a thick tone. She might not have remembered that promise of his from so long ago but he had never forgotten it.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and shrugged it off as he brushed his lips over Tony's. He had every intention of staying. There were others who could and would help Fergus with Highever. There was not as many willing to die with their loved ones just so they would not be alone.

His brain suddenly registered someone prying his hands off of Tony, pulling him back. His hearing returned quite suddenly and frankly he thought it foolish of it to bother coming back with hearing anyone but his wife.

"You have to let her go, Donovan. You have to. She wants you to live, and you won't unless we go _now_. Loras! Come on!"

Loras blinked up at Aedan like he had no idea who the Warden-Commander was. He tried to fight, to stay with Tony but do to having been sitting with her he did not have the ability to plant his feet which would have allowed him to pull away.

"Let go of me!" he bellowed. If he had been on his feet it might well have been a warcry to remember. As it was it was deflated from him clanking about trying to escape Aedan's grip. "We can not let her die alone! Just let me...let go dammit!"

It got worse as Ivar got up, lending his muscle to pulling Loras away as the blonde knight finally managed to get his feet under him. He strained against the pair of them like a man possessed reaching a hand out desperately to get a hold of Tony. "You flaming sons of bitches will let go this minute before I introduce my baton to your arseholes!" he roared out, not even knowing what he was saying as the pair pulled and grunted from the effort.

She was getting further away. Why wouldn't she reach for him dammit? Loras could feel tears leaking from his eyes but did not give a damn. His Antonina was just lying there all alone, her body occasionally twisting in agony from the spell ripping her insides apart and these assholes were not letting him comfort her. She deserved that in her last moments for flames sake!

"Tony! ...Damned bastards unhand me! Tony! TONY!"

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Antonina Garcion-Loras #==-<strong>

Tony tried to stay calm, she tried to stay rational as they had to pry Donovan away. By now, the pain was overwhelming, and she was nearing hysteria. Aedan and Ivar had a firm grip on him, despite his screaming and thrashing but how long were they going to be able to hold him?

They moved back slowly, kicking up dust, all looking horrified. Tony used every ounce of willpower she had, fighting the inevitable, willing them to get away in time. She didn't want them to see her die like this, but she also knew she couldn't take the chance that Donovan would get away from them - and run towards her just in time to die.

It was her worst fear; that he would die for her when so many already had, especially now when there was no point to it. She was going to die no matter what anyone did. She could feel the damage the spell had done already - even the magical appearance of a templar could only stop the explosion, not put her back together again.

Another wave of pain crashed over her and her life flashed behind her clenched eyelids.

_Her mother's voice, her father's face - both angry and bitter with guilt, Elno teaching her to swing a sword, the horror of the Blight and the ear deafening explosion as the battle ended, and then . . . sweetly . . . a pair of brilliant blue eyes in the face of the one man who had ever genuinely loved her. It had been inevitable, right from the start, she saw it now. And in just a split second she was getting to live it all over again._

Little boy grinning, and sparkles in his blue eyes. . . .

"Is this where I make a bad comment about your figure my lady? I am afraid I am not versed in this leering business. Care to help me?"

Smiling like a man looking at a banquet set out in front of him . . . .

"Beautiful. You are enough to stop a man's heart Antonina"

Bare, blatant honestly in his voice, concern for her, despite his wounds . . . .

"I will not say the words, because you do not wish to hear them. That does not mean they are any less there or true though Antonina."

And declarations, she almost wished he'd never made now . . . .

"You know though as long as there is breath in me I would come crawling back to you."

As the pain rolled back just a little, Tony fumbled for the chain around her neck and the steel disk that hung there. It was splattered with blood and filth but that didn't make it shine any less, at least not in her eyes. The inscription wavered through the tears in her eyes.

_I love you my dear Lady Antonina._

Tony lifted her head and spotted her sword laying loose on the ground nearby. She could still hear the sounds of Donovan struggling against Aedan and Ivar.

"Tony! ...Damned bastards unhand me! Tony! TONY!"

Tony swallowed; if this didn't end soon, he was going to get away from them. The idea that the last thing she would do to him was cause his death . . . it tore a bigger hole of pain through her than any spell ever could. Tony was going to die on her own terms - she was going to die making sure not one more soul died on her behalf; she was going to die knowing that Donovan Loras was going to live on and that meant at least a little piece of her got to live forever.

With the last of her strength, she grabbed hold of her sword, dragging it painfully towards herself. She propped up the hilt on the packed earth and aimed the tip at the weakest point in her armor. She tightened her bare fist around the steel disk in her hand, feeling the metal cut through her skin. She lifted her head up again, looking for Donovan, but her eyes just wouldn't focus.

And there was no more time.

"I love you," she whispered, knowing no one but she and the gods would hear it. But in the end, it was enough. It was fitting last words to a life well lived . . . once someone finally gave her the courage to be alive at all. It might not have been a long time, but her time with Dononvan had been the best and happiest of her entire life. Despite it all, she'd do it all exactly the same way if she had the chance.

With a small, contented smile Tony fell forward and the blade was like a blessing. Consciousness disappeared so swiftly that there was no more pain, even when all that was left of Antoninia Garcion was a fine red mist floating through the still air.

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Ser Ivar #==-<strong>

"Ivar, need your help."

Ivar was already moving into position even as the words left Aedan's mouth. The rogue moved in front of Donovan and gripped the man's arms with all his strength, putting his shoulders into it. He was suddenly glad Aedan was here- given that Loras had 20 pounds on Ivar, and had quite a bit more muscle, Ivar doubted he would have been able to drag him back to safety alone. His frantic attempts to escape the both of them did not make this any easier.

Donovan's screams was the worst of all. Every threat and plead for him to let Donovan go was like a dagger to the heart, like he was somehow betraying the man who had grown to become like a brother to him. _There's no use in adding another body to the pile. _Ivar repeated the words in his head over and over again, like he had when Howe had first took over the castle. That refrain had kept him from running to the castle and trying to take out as many of those sodding blighters as he could before they got him that night. Now it kept his resolve to save Donovan from crumbling, even as the man made it clear he did not want to be saved. He set his mouth into a grim line, his grey eyes hard, and continued to push Donovan back.

Ivar turned his head to look back at Tony, to try to gage if they were far enough back, and it occurred to him she seemed to be doing the same thing. Ivar found he couldn't tear his gaze away as he watched her take her sword, slowly move it into position. It suddenly occurred to Ivar that she wanted to make sure Donovan didn't break free to run to her, and he felt his grip on the other man tighten as the blade did it's dirty work. And then her figure was gone, and the knight felt a warm spray, like a summer shower, suddenly hit his face. It had been a long time since Ivar had been sick at the sight of death and gore, but now Ivar had to fight the urge.

He stopped pushing Donovan back, but didn't let go of his grip just yet, not certain how the other man would react. For a moment, his mind felt blank, and he had to force himself to think. They were still on a battlefield. There were Darkspawn somewhere out here, and Maker knew what else. While they had a good group, too many of their people were still green, and Tony's violent death would have stunned them all. If another ambush came now they were sitting ducks.

"Regroup! Everyone regroup! Get into defensive positions, we can't afford another ambush!" Ivar's voice carried in the stillness of the Wastes. People needed direction now- something, anything- and Ivar would be damned if he was going to allow this mess to get any worse. They couldn't dwell on the dead, not now, and he would rather be a live stone cold bastard then a dead softy. His grey gaze met Aedan's, his unspoken question clear. Press forward, or retreat?


	4. Chapter 4

**-==# Aedan Cousland #==-**

Donovan struggled like a man possessed, and Aedan could not blame him. This was not how their marriage should have ended. They should have grown old together, had children, grandchildren, and gone to the Maker hand-in-hand when their legacy was done. When he'd stood beside the two in front of the Revered Mother, that's what they'd all envisioned.

Not this. Maker, not this.

"You flaming sons of bitches will let go this minute before I introduce my baton to your assholes!"

Aedan didn't react to the snarling threat, instead focusing on his task of getting Loras far enough away from Tony. How long did they have? He tightened his grip on Donovan as the knight strained against him and Ivar more vehemently.

"Tony! ...Damned bastards unhand me! Tony! TONY!"

Aedan glanced back in time to see Donovan's wife reach for her sword, and position it just so. His jaw gritted. Silently, he commended her. Better to choose to die, to have that last tiny bit of control, than to sit there and wait. Better to make that decision now, while Loras was contained.

She fell forward on her blade, and even though Aedan knew what was going to happen, it made it no easier to see. In an instant, she disappeared into a fine red mist, swirling through the air in some twisted mockery of a spring fog. It brushed his face, gently, almost like a caress, and he clenched his teeth together even harder.

Emotions threatened to crack him, and he couldn't let them. Resolutely, he shoved the anger, the sorrow, the sympathy behind a wall. The battlefield was not the place for grieving. That would come when they returned to Highever.

He stopped pulling Loras back as Ivar did. He loosened his grip, unsure of what the Knight-Captain would do now. Ivar seemed stunned for an instant, staring at the space where Tony had been, then he came back to himself abruptly.

"Regroup! Everyone regroup! Get into defensive positions, we can't afford another ambush!" the older knight shouted. He turned a questioning gaze on Aedan, easily understood.

Did they press on to do what they'd come to this Maker-forsaken place to do? Or did they retreat?

Aedan stared at him a moment. Ice had entered his gaze; his face had become as cold as the Highever cliffs in Wintermarch. It was the Commander of the Grey who stood before Ivar and Loras now, not Soap, not Aedan Cousland. As such, there was really only one answer he could give.

"We continue forward. Zari, a quick check of the troops, if you will, then we move." He looked at her, wanting to show sympathy as she hesitated, but he couldn't. They had a job to do here. He couldn't allow them to turn around, not when there were still monsters to be dealt with. After a moment, she nodded, then her face grew still as she used her connection with the group to verify that no one was gravely injured.

The mist had drifted to the ground by now. It soaked into the rocks and dirt, darkening them, glistening against the stone. Aedan tore his gaze away and turned to face the men and women who were under his command.

"We press on," he said, his even voice carrying easily to everyone's ears. "We have a task set before us, a task we need to complete to ensure the safety of Highever. What we've encountered—as terrible as it is—is nothing compared to what will happen if we let the darkspawn gain a foothold in these Wastes. If we allow them to have a safe haven here, attacks against the teyrnir will become more frequent. More people, innocent people, will die. We cannot—_cannot_—let that happen."

He let his eyes roam the gathered soldiers and volunteers, noting the pale faces, the hands wiping lips clear of signs of vomit. _Some of them are so green_, he thought suddenly. _Was I ever so untested in battle?_He must have been, at some point, but it was so long ago and he'd done so much...he couldn't remember.

"Antonina Garcion-Loras was an honorable woman, a fine example of Ferelden's best fighters." Aedan's voice rang through the stillness. He was sincere in what he said, but his face remained in the impassive Commander's mask. "With every sweep of our blades, we remember her. With every enemy we fell, we honor her. With every breath we continue to take, we ensure that what happened here does not happen to anyone again."

He unsheathed Starfang and held it high above his head. The sword glittered in the gloom. "For Highever!" he shouted, his voice as strong and clear as if he was uttering a war cry on the battlefield. "_For Tony!_"

* * *

><p><strong>-==# Ser Donovan Loras #==-<strong>

All he had been able to do was watch. It was lowering to a man that always had it in him to do something. When his regiment had been cut off during Ostagar he'd held his men together and gotten out of the mess. When he had come home to a burned castle, dead family, and missing bodies of his lords he had organized and counter attacked as best he could. When he learned of the Landsmeet and the darkspawn marching on Denerim he'd packed up his things and marched to meet them.

There had been nothing he could do for his own wife. He couldn't even be there to hold her hand during her last moments. All he could do was watch her end it herself. He felt the blood splatter onto his face, stinging his eyes. He could heard metal clank as it hit the ground without muscle and will to hold things up.

The arms holding him back let go and Loras hit all four. Gauntlets clenching into fists as he closed his eyes. He could still see her though against the eyelids. Looking around like she was lost before whispering something and falling on her own sword.

"Tony..." he whispered to himself. "...come back..."

He heard Ivar and Aedan issuing orders over his head. They had to go kill darkspawn now. Tony would have wanted them to finish what they started after all. Loras just...could not find the will to move.

He spotted something amid the bones in front of him then. A bit of steel covered in blood. He stretched forward a bit, getting to his feet when he could not reach it.

It was the necklace he'd given her on Satinalia, when she'd asked him to marry her. He had always thought they would have time...now they had none.

He noticed it was broken, not just the chain but the disk as well. He wiped off the filth, smearing the blood into the writing on it.

_I love you my dear Lady Antonina._

Loras pressed it to his head, praying Tony's soul would be at peace, and not wandering the Fade somewhere. He slipped it into his pouch when he was done pleading with a god that did not listen anyway.

He heard Aedan giving some speech behind him and honestly did not care. Let the lot take care of their damn selves for a minute. He looked about for a moment or two until he found Tony's gear. Her shield wasn't as damaged as his was due to the drake. So he pulled the knife out of his boot and got to work.

The screeching from metal cutting metal made one want to cringe but he ignored it. He carved his wife's full name, her date of birth, and date of death over the silver laurels of the Cousland heraldry on his shield.

He had to use his baton to hang it on. He couldn't imagine Tony wanting her sword left in the middle of the wastes. It was a good blade and he thought Linette at least might like something to remember her friend by, if she would take it. If not Loras would keep it himself for when he got better using two weapons.

Be hammered the baton into the ground with the shield then, it was the only memorial he had for his wife and when it was done all he could do was sit on his knees next to what was left of her corpse.

"I love you...my lady Antonina..." he said, thinking maybe she could still hear him.

He sat there until someone came to pry him away. He shouldered Tony's shield then along with her sword. Duty called, and without Tony it was back to being the only thing he had in his life. His only constant.

Loras looked behind him though at the make shift tombstone for Antonina. He could feel the pain of his heart beating knowing she'd never be there to make it race again.

He guessed it was true then what they said. There was no such thing as a happy ending except in fairy tales.


End file.
